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I do honestly believe that people enter our lives for a reason. That everyone who we meet, who forms an impression has something to teach us. Everything that happens to us is an experience, and because of that it can never be bad. an experience can only be good because it all serves to shape the person that we are, the person that we become. -= the love whisperer =-

It’s Okay To Say No

Are you the type of person who always says yes? I’ve come to learn that it is very important to learn to say NO!! It’s okay. People are still going to like you. They may even respect you more because they know you are being authentic.

I’m not saying to say no to someone who really needs your help. I’m talking about turning down that meeting that you really do not want to attend or that birthday party that you don’t want to be a guest at because it’s the same weekend as your sister’s shower or the Playoffs.

Think for a moment how you feel when you say YES to something that you really don’t want to do. If you’re like I once was, you can’t sleep at night and you think about it way too much. It weighs on your mind. You try to find ways out. You start thinking “oh it’s not so bad, it will make him/her happy”. “Maybe I’ll have fun”. “Maybe I won’t be bored”. Whatever it is that you’re saying to yourself, if you really wanted to go, you wouldn’t have all of these thoughts.

So, why not just say NO from the beginning? Perhaps out of guilt. I am here to tell you that you have to leave guilt in the past. The past is not meant to be part of the present.

Maybe you feel like if you don’t show up at the meeting (that by the way, is not a mandatory one) your boss isn’t going to like you or your co-workers won’t respect you. You need to do what is right for you. Of course we do have real obligations in life to fulfill but we do not have to do everything, everyone wants us to do. Do you feel as if you can breathe already, just hearing that?

Maybe you feel like your daughter won’t call you anymore if you don’t give her money every time she calls and asks for it, even though that’s the only time she calls.

Maybe you feel like your son won’t communicate with you as much if you don’t listen to his whining for hours and hours on end, about the same thing, over and over again.

Maybe you feel as if your mom, dad or siblings won’t love you as much if you don’t do everything for them that they ask or attend every occasion.

If these people are your true friends, family members, or a good boss, they will like or love you the same no matter what. People treat you the way you teach them to, and if you’re someone who always says yes then that’s what they’re expecting.

I learned you can say NO!!

Do what feels right for you. Be authentic. If you don’t like a certain kind of music, don’t go to that concert. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying don’t compromise if someone does something you like and you want to reciprocate. Sometimes relationships need compromise. I’m just saying don’t say yes to everything.

Do you buy Girl Scout cookies from every friend’s daughter? Do you buy chocolate bars from every Boy Scout that you know? It’s fine if you really want them and can afford them but do you buy them just out of obligation? This is what I mean.

Learn how to say no. IT’S OKAY! If a friend comes to you and says, ‘Hey, I need $100.00 until Friday.’ Do you give it to them even though you are going to be short of cash and you don’t know how you’re going to get through the week, and now your bills are late? I’m here to say you do not have to.


— Copyright © 2011 Marion Licchiello-Lenz 

Marion Licchiello-Lenz is a Writer, Self Empowerment Coach and an Intuitive Coach. She blogs for the Poughkeepsie Journal about getting motivated, staying positive, and getting fit.

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